I look better un-naked...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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