So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
