Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
