i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
