you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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