So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All I want is dick and wine.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
