she was so not down for the gang bang
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
