A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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