i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
