You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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