i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
