Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize