The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Did I show you my penis last night?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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