I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
