what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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