Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
