Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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