Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
