Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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