did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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