"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
