We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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