No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
