she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
