Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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