the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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