The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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