apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
