did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
