Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize