oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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