I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
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Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
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As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....