No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????