let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.