maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
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Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
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I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms