I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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