Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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