ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
