I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
