Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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