ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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