your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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