Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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