I hope mine doesn't look like that
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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