sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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