Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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