She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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