i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
