Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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