Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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