Porn is love you can see.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
