My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
