Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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