Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize
