I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
