I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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