Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
