I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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