Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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