i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
