I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
