It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
