His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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